It’s been a while since I wrote.

Swimming in my own despair. My heart is clenched in your teeth. Drowning in quicksand. With every move I’m sinking, sinking. Panic sinks in. Can’t catch my breath. Tangled in regret. Wrapped in ice cold loneliness. Lived two lives. My heart can’t take it. My mind can’t comprehend. What I’ve done. Searching, always searching. Never finding, looking in the wrong place. Happiness, love, acceptance. Lies, betrayal, false hope. Looking to the world. A cold dark world. That doesn’t care. Where you are nothing. Spit you out. Worst than you came. How can that be? How is that possible? High on the pedestal. A pedestal of sand. The wind is increasing. Take me down knocking me down

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